Today got mentorship! It was fun as I learn more about my responsibilities of being PM. it is very fun to be involved in a play. I love the fulfillment it gave me.

Some good news! My mentor is Ganesh who is the one that started this mentorship programme. He is damn funny and I swear I shall bombard him with many questions! He is going to love me for that.

Haha.

Today A finally comes to school. But I felt helpless. I do not know how to encourage him to stay on with his studies. I felt that BGR is not the only thing in your life. Even though how SUCKY you think your life is, please just hang on!

For me, I naturally will have some bad days too. Sometimes, I hate my sister to keep barking at me. I felt I was nobody all the time. It is just that I did not show it out. But I do not feel that it is something bad! I will always try to reflect on my bad points and try to change. It will make me feel better. I do not go groaning about my problems and run away from home if my mom pick on me. I hate people who run away from problems. I do not think anyone will be problem-free. It is just how you face it and how you solve the problem.

God! I sound so HOLY! But I am not! I am me. JUST ME.

FUCK that comm. teacher!! i dun like her!!

I have working for the past weekends and I simply do not have time for fun! I want to just quit my job. I felt so tired working. If it was not for the money sake, I am going to just stay at home and shake my legs. But I am going to have some financial problem soon as my dad had just quit his job. [I do not know why] So I cannot do that at this moment.

I found out that not just only me who feel like quitting, [the pay is low and XY somehow do not like me] XH and HF also want to quit! We decided to quit after we get our bonus which is during June. After that I am going to go work at where my sis had recommended me. Yeah! That is what I am going to do.

I have got nothing to say as my life is very boring. REAL bored!

This post dedicates to.. GENEVIEVE HO!
Happy birthday to you!

I am so fucked up today!
It was not my fault and she still gives me that fucking face. Her whole face says everything. It says ‘You are totally blamed for me being late.’

Fuck you!

Today I had missed the bus because I went to shit. I cannot blame anyone but only myself.
Nature call plus constipation due to poor nutrition.

So I sms SM to ask where she was. She said she had passed my house and even had passed MY house. I suddenly thought of her. Every morning I would miss call her when I had board the bus. But today is a special case. I reckon that SM and MY would have forgot to miss call her. So I call her.

But the thing is that.. The bus is just leaving her house. And she missed the bus. She called me and told me that. I told her that I would sit bus 159 to her house if it came before bus 161. And bus 159 really came.

When I reached the place, all I saw is her bloody fucking face. She made her eyes look beady and her lips are pursed together. She gave me that look that says ‘hey look! I am stuck here and it is all because of you!’

The moment I saw this, my whole mood was like urgh! I really had no comment to her. I did not even try to speak to her. She was the one who start to talk first. And her first sentence was.. I cannot remember it clearly but I know she is trying to sound sarcastic and blaming me indirectly.

Fuck you!
That was what I thought of when she spoke.

The whole bus trip sucked! When we reached the interchange, we are already late. I can see that she blamed us especially ME for her being late. It was not entirely my fault! I admit I was wrong to be late. But at least I got miss call her to get on the bus. She cannot possibly blame me just because she never boards the bus. Hello! It was her decision for not boarding up the bus. I am not responsible for it!

Oh god! Talking about it make me more angry about it.
I do not fuck care if you ever going to see this. I am merely expressing my personal feeling. If you ever going to hate for this, BY ALL MEANS!

I am not going to FUCK care about it!

For all those who are hurt

Your friend dun understand you
Thats why they left you
But you dun understand yourself too

Your world is dark
You cannot see what is in front of you
You felt that your friends betrayed you

You say that they hurt you
You hate them to the core
But by doing this you hurting yourself

So I just want to say that
STOP ALL HATE!

Because…

This is petrina, my bestest fwen and ME !!








i just want to dedicate this post to her - PETRINA! i have been owing her alot of things and we have not met for a long time. if you ever saw this, you had better remind me about the icecream i owe you!!

23 May 2006

Today, something really funny had happened. There is too much of a coincidence. Suddenly it is like we, NVSS people are fated to meet!

Before that, let me tell you the dumbest thing YX had done. You are bound to laugh like a mad person when you heard of this! It happens that MY was thirsty and asked her for her water bottle. But… YX is kind of stupid. So naturally, some stupid thing happened. She passed MY her soft toy doggy instead of the water bottle. All of us laughed regardless of the place we were at. The bus was packed with many people. Some even turned around to look at us, thinking that we were mad!

Wahaha! YX is going to hate me for this! But I still am going to say it out. Hehez.

So the best part is finally going to arrive! After the guitar ensemble interview, we went to wait for bus and we saw Sarnie. It was a coincidence to see a NYP student to be at Woodlands. But we just never know that something would just pop out and surprise us.

And it really happens.

We saw YS at compass point!! I have not seen her for a long time. The feeling is great when you meet your old friend. We went to Mac Donald to sit down and talk. But again… something surprises us again.

We saw PT and some NVSS people!!! When we were getting to settle down… and poof! LH, LK and some friends appear!!!! This is really too much of a coincidence. It was like a NVSS gathering even when we never agreed to meet together. So we took picture together! It was just nice that SM had brought a digital camera. Haha. I had many fun today. We went to pasar malam and made some name thingy. MY and I made a heart-shaped one. SM saw that and also does the similar thing with PT.

When we thought that all the coincidence and stuff like that should have ended, we saw… CP!!!!! Enough of meeting NVSS people already! Now I really believe in coincidence. I believe that we were fated to meet. So I am waiting. I am waiting all of my friends to appear magically in front of me.

POOF! *haha*

ONE fabulous good news!
I am the production manager in the Project Joy!

Woohoo!

Actually, I wanted to be the stage manager. But there are like four more people who wanted to be stage manager. I knew I will have a chance in learning stage management in my third year of school. So I decided that why not I learn something new to me?

And TADAA...

I chose to be the production manager!! And I am happy with it.

I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF!

Fuck all those china people! I am really going to hate them for life! She is so damn unreasonable! Go to hell!

Well, for no reason, a china woman called me and says that I send something funny to her. I say I did not and maybe there is a mistake. I said very politely. But did she talk back to me politely?

FUCKING NoOo!

Then she says my number out and asked if it was my number. Of course I would say yes. If not, I would not be listening to this fucker talking bullshit! I am so damn pissed, man.

I could have forgiven her for that. But she just make thing worse! This stupid bitch scolded me sheng jing bing (crazy) before she hangs up the phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KNS! YOU STUPID BITCH! GO TO HELL! EAT MY SHIT! TA MA DE! KNN! CCB! CBK!

From this moment onward, I am going to hate china people! Dont blame me! Blame her for ruining your impression in me!

I HATE YOU FUCKER!

STA rawkz! GangSTAs rawkz! We, mobSTAs rawkz for life!

I am very proud to say that I am happy to be in RP now. I am really contented to have been chosen to be in here. At least I will not regret. I am not going to.

ALTERNATIVE – freshman orientation programme.
It is fun. The year 2 students are very high and enthusiastic which help to liven up the whole of shy shy year 1 student. Due to their influence, we began to be so enthusiastic into the programme that they had delicately planned for us. I love AD-REMAKE the most. It was really damn funny. I also think that we can be creative if we want to. And then we will soar high. Haha.

The next day of programme was enriching because I know what I will be learning in year two and three. I also know the requirements to graduate from RP and stuff like this. I also had a dog tag of our mascot- Stampy. It is like an identity of being in STA. my friends and I decided to wear it tomorrow for the mentorship programme tomorrow. We even had a craziest idea of setting up a match-making IG to benefit RP students. Hahaha.

I think that one of friend in mentorship programme is courageous and really deserve an hands of applaud from me. She likes this person in the mentorship and she is trying to let him know that she like him. She may seem shy but she at least made the first move to get closer to him despite knowing that he already got a girlfriend. If it was me, I will not dare to do that. I will keep it to myself and tried to pretend nothing happen.

This is what I am doing now. I am such a fucking coward.

haiz . haiz . haiz. Why are we making so so so many assumptions in life? This person A like C but she think that C like B. but B like C but thinks that C had someone else instead. Hello? Are we playing merry-go-round? Why can’t they have a nice and short ending? Like is like. Don’t like is don’t like.

But… we don’t understand it. Instead we make it more complicated.

W H Y?

I had the most wonderful dream yesterday. I can’t actually remember the whole thing. What I can remember of is you. I dreamt of you yesterday. But I hope it stop. Because… I want to forget the feeling I had for you. I HAVE to. That is what I felt I had to do. I guess I choose the easiest but stupidest way. I choose to run away from the entire problem.

I ADMIT I’m STUPID !!

i am so sad. i want to die right away.





okae.





joking . i'm not gona die. the most is that my heart just break into more shattered pieces.

CAMP ORION finish le !! yeah!
these three days got a lot of thing to say siah. dun even noe where to begin.

hmm.. first me and yuxiang went to work . den about two meet alvin at the bus stop which is at RP . went inside and go sit in a group. we were all separated. ME IN TEAM 9 MORPHEUS [ god of dreamz ] juz like me leh. really think that i went to the right team . at there i meet very good student leader like sharon. then dai kuan and yock siong are my SL . so coincidence siah. all very good . we have fun together. then the people in my group are cindy, ganesh, jimmy, farhan, sham, hazreen, jazlinda, melvin, ravinda [ leave in the middle of camp - fall down hurt his back ], shu yuan, liting and two china ppl [ duno them well ].

we sure rawkz ! the first day was ice breaking at first. then follow by dinner. they say itz better than the food served in the SIT camp. den we had treasure hunt to find those materials needed to paint ou flag. after finish painting.. we think our team's flag is the most nice and simple de. others are like shit to me. itz very messy. den we play some blindfold thingy. and den bathe and go slp.

the second day is the most fun. coz we went to camp christie. although the place is dirty, shabby and filled with alot of disgusting insects but the programme we had like kayaking and mud trail are fun !! the campfire is very nnice and burnig HOT !! we were all perspiring after that.

next day is just packing and cleaning up. also, we had to take the whole camp orion photo and they make us stand right under the blazing sun. it took very lng for them to arrange us up. we were all complaining. bcoz they were under the shade and we were not. it was unfair!! den we took many photo. but me nvr and now i cant open the file that sharon send me. urgh!!

today i didnt go school. backside hurt. shoulder swollen. and i was deprived of sleep. but i got go for the mentorship programme but at the last minute it was cancelled becoz christina totally forgot she had to come today !! that was lame. and i waste my time to go school.

so, the last thing that i wana say is that camp orion was fun. so im anticipating my next camp - which is STA freshman camp happening on this weekend !! yeah!! cant wait .

this week .. this god damn week !! im so terribly freaking tired !! i had this exhausting but fun mentorship programme going on from monday to thursday.. den from tml to sunday i got this stupid camp orion. heard that there no ce points given. fuck them man.. i think they should give us one or two point to participate in it. but i will still go this stupid camp. coz hey! i already paid the money to them. i cant possibly asked for a refund now. they will think im crazy.

so i will go for the camp after all. maybe on monday im gona skip school. in the afternoon, about 4 plus then i will go for the mentorship prog. but that maybe. i got to see what lesson im having that day. so everything depend on my mood.

so in short, im just sooooo damn busy!! i even went to join four interest group!! of course i may not get into all the four igs. maybe im not going for SA. itz abit too sianz. i will definitely stick with EMP and maybe guitar or drama..

next thing im gona talk about some sad stuff. adeline . my da jie . she is leaving RP. she been accepted into JC in malaysia. we will not see each other for very long time. awww .. that so sad... haiz. life is like this de. itz so everchanging - whether it changes for the better or for the worst we duno. everything leave to fate. [why suddenly i get so depressed?!?]

anyway. at here im gona wish adeline all the best and be happy in whatever she do. SHE RAWKZ my world. itz nice knowing such a great fwen. really.

well .. didnt write for like TWO days le .. i think i am too fed up to rite lor.. many things happened and suddenly i just dun feel like riting it out .. guess im having PMS .. haiz .. next week camp .. hope it dun clash..

let me try to remember what happen..

on 5 may 2006 . me ming yee simin and yuxiang were supposed to go the guitar club talk ..
but the DAMN problem is that we cant find the fucking place .. they is at energy block .. but there is not one single sign of where is the place.. we were like lost souls searching for the place for like one hours plus .. and den when we know where is it we simply just give up and go home .. it like so .. WHAT lor.. u noe where is that freaking place?!? its inside the stupid carpark!! who would go attend it lor.. RP is so new and they still nbr state properly.. haiz .. that day is really not my day.. in the morning because of mingyee late .. i also almost late for sch le.. that day i really did alot of walking siah.. HAIZ!!

den on 6 may 2006.. aft i finish work .. i wanted tell pet that i dun wana meet her liao.. but knowing her sickening attitude .. so i sms her say if we could meet earlier coz i wana go yx house to do some stuff. den she call and cried to me saying i alway ps her and if i dun wana meet den dun meet lo.. i mean .. what the hell?!? i nbr sae dun meet her lo.. she like to alway say i ps her lor.. i mean i sometimes ps her is got valid reason de lor.. but den the next day i wake up at 1 !! haha!! i really ps her le!! haiz.. me arh.. duno how i change my habit of sleeping like a pig.. so i owe a ice cream lor..

i feel very sian of life sometimes.. when i wana do somthing this way .. but it will always end in another way.. life is just too unfair!! sianz.. even if i say life is too boring.. however i cant end it now.. i still dun wana die yet.. so .. in one word its just too complicated le la.. it something we will nvr understand in our whole life de..

SIANZ MAN!! feel like slping but still bu gan xin to slp..

firstly.. im gona dedicate this post to my stupid damned fucking sis CHARMAINE !!
u suckz alot!! i have already say that i gona start a blog and not gona let anyone know it and you still go look at it.. i thought i could trust you that day when i accidentally saw my blog to you.. i didnt expect u go see it lo. FUCKER SIAH !! go hell for all you want!!

ok!! enough about my stupid sister of mine.. let me talk about today.. as usual went to school.. today got mock ut .. at first cant go in same as janice.. later when we together restart.. i can go in but she cant.. so she didnt did her mock ut.. suai siah..

today in the same group with him, adeline and janice.. oh ya .. same with keith that stupid lamer too.. he arh.. like some zombie in class moaning ard.. thats kinda irritating man.. but i dun hate him.. i just found him to be super lame.. never met one like this before.. haha .. enough about him.. he not the one i like.. HE den is he one i wana talk about..

today adeline raised up a topic that i most certainly do not wana hear of.. that is .. she think that he got a girlfriend already.. at that instance, my heart shook awhile.. i remain calm and tell adeline that i think so too. he must have got one liao lor.. so i no chance le.. ive been wanting to know his blog coz i wana read his inner feelings.. maybe he will mention me.. but somehow i guess that if it was me.. i would want to let others know what i wrote..

he say today tht the first impression of me was that i was a AH LIAN !! come on.. how can that be lor.. i very guai and innocent de.. i only dye my hair mah.. swear i not gona dye le unless some circumstances such as the whole hair turn white lo.. hehez. den i surely dye de lor.. i very ai mei de.. haha..

den today after school got SA info talk.. went there and felt not like joining lor.. coz got interview and selection camp.. so lame lor.. it is not of any use at all anyway.. so i think i not gona join le.. i also is not a very leader leader person.. i think i join is bcoz of him lo.. coz he wana join.. he really plan his whole future very well lor.. very pei fu him rather than people like me who has no life.. no future at all.. guess im gona join guitar and service learning club.. i wana do some good deeds to lessen my sins..

i felt tong ku to make decision everyday..
if one day could just leave and not think anymore..
bcoz im suffering .. .. ..

tOday .. my that basic science teacher Jim Tan nbr come and some stupid teacher went to take over him.. he arh .. ask alot questions to my team lor.. other team abit nia.. biased! first team to present so more to criticise mah .. haiz .. tml must early go school worx.. coz got mock UT .. maths and science .. sianz siah..

ermz.. after school saw him sitting at the staircase there waiting for ppl.. actually i felt like go there and talk to him.. for just a few moment and i will also be happy lor.. den later went to collect ez link card .. after taking liao, i saw ah ma and go talk to her.. coz time still got alot lor.. it like only 4 and the STA stuff is on 4.45pm lor!! so talk to her .. and ermz.. her breath stink lo.. i think all of us also stink lo.. coz abit water to drink only lor.. the school water cooler i think got a weird taste so no one dare to drink it lo..

after the whole STA stuff i saw him at there lor.. but now there is a girl beside her.. he is so popular among girls.. while i is like a piece of shit!! haiz .. felt like crying when i saw that scene.. i guess i must be a very jealous person.. know that he will never like me .. but deep inside i keep on thinking that this move or this action that he make means he like me.. such as like that time he went down to eat lunch with his camp fwen and i pei him down too coz i wan meet fwen .. den he say that we go pa tuo (go on dates).. my heart was like .. WAH !! almost drop out le .. hehez.. i really wish one day he like me .. if he not gona do that and tell me .. i shall just keep this as a secret and buried deep inside my heart .. i am just not a person who will easily say out my deepest feelings..
I AM NOT THAT PERSON!!

My firSt blOg suppOsedly tO be beAUtifUl bUt i wANa it be SiMple ANd Nice . i wANa it tO be MySteriOUs ( blAck cOloUr ) ANd tO be My fAvOUrite - ANIME !! heheZ .. lOve AniMe lOtz .. ANythiNg tO dO with it .. i lOve it !
hMm .. back tO tOpic .. watZ did i dO tOday?!? hMm .. very bOrinG leh .. gO tO pOly .. almOst lAte ..

haiz .. i somehow tao yan today lesson .. maths ! my worst subject in the whole wide world ! i am a very lazy person and i can't think well lo.. SO DUN ASK ME TO THINK LIAO LOR !!!! tml problem solving.. the best module i like the most.. although i really dun like the teacher .. he has not graded us lo.. it has already been a week le.. how long does he has to take to grade 25 students lo? this teacher practically forgot ou presence le..

den today he back ache . i hated it when someone's in agony and i can't do much help at all. i'm really mei yong lo.. he arh.. juz have play too much le lor.. i noe camp sure play until very SIAO .. but no need SIAO dao he hyperventilate and somemore fever lo.. wan scare people to death arh ?!?

[[ zhong you yi tian hui bei ta xia si de ]]

haiz .. really hope evryone will be ping an wu shi lo.. sound abit shang gan .. but that what i really wish now lo..
hope tml lesson be interesting .. and of course not to be late tml. hmm .. tml den write ba . first blog write too much le